"When Did Porn Become Sex-Ed?" What are my kids seeing on the internet?
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Since the dawn of the information age, internet porn has proliferated exponentially, and with the inevitable easy access to it, many young people now have a distorted and unhealthy picture of sexuality based on their furtive, haphazard exploration of porn sites.
Typically, an unrealistic sexual performance that reinforces male dominance and female submission, that places actors in uncomfortable positions so that their body parts read on camera, that often involves risky and unprotected sex, that doesn't include consent conversation, that has no context for a caring, respectful, intimate relationship.
It's really an awful way for young people to learn about sexual relationships. But it is natural that kids are curious about sex, and how people do it.
At More Than Sex-Ed, we emphasize that sex is not a performance. That fulfilling sex happens within caring adult relationships. Being good at sex requires being able to communicate well and honestly with a partner. Everyone likes different stuff, so there can't be just one single way to be good at sex. And if you are not mature enough to talk about contraceptives, barriers, STIs, unintended pregnancy, your emotions, values, expectations, what feels good and what doesn't....well then, you are definitely not mature enough to be having sexual intercourse.
Often kids look to porn because they don't have any other source to get information about sex. That's our thing, More Than Sex-Ed is all about having healthy conversations about sex. Having someone to talk to, understanding that communication is the truest part of intimacy, can make the internet less appealing.
Research on adolescent development and the effects of internet porn isn't abundant, but there are a few noticeable correlations:
- higher levels of preoccupation with sex
- earlier sexual initiation
- lower self image--girls feel they are less attractive--boys worry about their "sexual performance abilities"
- more stereotypical views of gender roles
- when porn depicts violence, boys exhibit more sexually aggressive behavior
We hope that inspires parents to be an askable adult
