Seven Ways to Have Better Conversations with Your Child About Sex (and Everything Else!)

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Seven Ways to Have Better Conversations with Your Child About Sex (and Everything Else!)

A central part of More Than Sex-Ed’s mission is to support parents in providing their children with the healthiest possible messages about sexuality—and we know that even the most caring and open-minded parents can struggle with this.  The good news is, no single “talk” will make or break your teen’s self-confidence or decision-making skills; the best thing you can do is cultivate open, honest, ongoing dialogue about everything.  Sex talk, when your child is ready, will grow out of that.  Here are some tips we hope may be useful:

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From the Huffington Post: "How Sex Educators Talk to Their Sons About Consent"→

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From the Huffington Post: "How Sex Educators Talk to Their Sons About Consent"

It is abundantly clear that as a society we still have lots of work to do on the topic of Consent. 

We really love this article by Caroline Bologna in the Huffington Post: "How Sex Educators Talk to Their Sons About Consent", and highly recommend you give it a read.

No matter the gender of the kids you may or may not have, the advice is spot on. Here's a couple of important points:

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From a Class on Consent, a Moment to Treasure

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From a Class on Consent, a Moment to Treasure

One boy in the circle had a deeply thoughtful expression on his face. 

 Eyebrows knit together, he raised his hand.

“So . . . if you ask somebody if they want to have sex, and they say no . . . can you still say, like, ‘ok, do you want to cuddle?’ Like, is that okay?”

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Why are More Than Sex-Ed workshop series’ so long!?! Can’t kids learn what they need in a couple of hours?”

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Why are More Than Sex-Ed workshop series’ so long!?! Can’t kids learn what they need in a couple of hours?”

Let’s consider just how much of our life experience involves sexuality. What else consumes our thoughts the way that longing for intimacy and sexual fulfillment does? How preoccupied as adolescents are we with our sexual identity and worries about whether we are normal? How much of middle and high school is spent navigating the turbulence of attraction and relationships? And that’s only the segue into what we hope is lifelong healthy sexuality!

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My Teacher, The Predator→

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" I don’t think the school was part of a nefarious plot. Why did they ignore Koetters’ behavior? Was it a combination of indifference, ambivalence, assumptions about teenage girls’ proclivity for drama, and fear of getting into a lawsuit? Regardless, by ignoring allegations from students over the years, the school sent a message to young women: sit down, shut up, and suffer male entitlement. " 

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NY Times: "Sex Education Based on Abstinence? There's a Real Absence of Evidence"→

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A recent NY Times article explores the policy of abstinence only sex education as driven by politics.  Aaron E. Carroll explains that the current administration has deviated from funding sex education programs that are effective based on evidence outcomes.  Although federal support for abstinence based education had increased in the past administrations, the requirement for sex education to be taught in schools had actually fallen "to 48 percent from 67 percent."  

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Abstinence-Only Education is Unethical →

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According to NPR, Abstinence-only sex education is unethical and ineffective in reducing rates of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.   Laura Lindberg of Guttmacher Institute notes "that abstinence-only education programs don't succeed in reducing rates of teen pregnancies or STDs."  In fact, Lindberg states that the approach "have little demonstrated efficacy in helping adolescents to delay intercourse".

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Question Box

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Question Box

We got this absolutely priceless question from a young boy in a class not long ago; the lesson
was on the changes of puberty, and in a room full of uncomfortable looking 10 and 11
year-olds, he raised his hand, looking confused. “So if having a period is where the body just,
like . . . flushes that stuff out . . . does that mean, like, is . . . menstruation . . . like having...diarrhea?”

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